You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
im holly from the hills drunk
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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