I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
