Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
