just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
