I can't watch pbs sober anymore
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize