yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
third nipple confirmed
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Randomize
