Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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