A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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