Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Randomize
