is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize