was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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