Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
