2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
