i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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