I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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