she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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