he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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