So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
