i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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