I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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