we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
