It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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