I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
