They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize