You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
