My hair reeks of homosexuality.
one might say we're banned from that church
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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