I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
