He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
