Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Randomize
