whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
