and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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