i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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