Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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