Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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