I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
