Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
