By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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