I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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