and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
and i looked up. we had an audience...
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Boobs are out for the taking
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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