Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
