Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
