brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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