When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
