my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I don't think brook has ever known best
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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