My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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