I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
