I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We had sex on a dog bed..
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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