At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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