Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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