he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
