FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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