I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
