Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
