I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
