with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Dignity is for republicans.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
