just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
