shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
