im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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