In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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