Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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