is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
