so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
