found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
why do cheetos always look like penises
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
