She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
