But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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