Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
