I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
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