can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
