We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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