that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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