She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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