I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
