If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
