I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
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