I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
